i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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