i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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