Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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