marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
