On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
