u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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