You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
