the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
