absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
