2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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