i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
