One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
