Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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