Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize
