I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
