I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
