Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
