8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
