just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
