matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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