Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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