i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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