haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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