went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
