got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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