I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
