He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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