did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
