i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
