Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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