we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this boner is exhausting
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
