I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
