omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
