Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is it penis luge time yet?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
