Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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