haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
