you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Randomize
