my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
