Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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