how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
