She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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