Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
