in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
