I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
