Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
