dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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