well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
