i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
