Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
