cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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